Tuesday, January 25, 2011


random pics of Donk make me happy

It's been one entire week.
I lived.  So did Josh. 

One week ago today I found out that my much wanted/needed 18 week old baby was dead.

One week ago today I delivered that baby.

I did it with out major pain meds (never had a true contraction with out my epidural on the other two)

I came out with out any medical complications.

I feel lucky.  

It could have been so much worse.  

Because I will live to fight another day.

I will have another big fat healthy pink baby and I will appreciate it even more.

I have no regrets with how it all happened, except that it had to happen at all.  

So in one year what will I say?  Let's hope for...
Pregnant again 
Started my next pregnancy skinner and healthier
Stronger and wiser 
Let Max go to preschool even though it gives me anxiety
Over my anxiety of letting Josh leave my side
Still totally in love and focused on Josh, but in a healthy way
As always, adoring Lily
More deserving of these amazing friends

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