Dear Super Rad Van Shoes,
We go way back. I bought you at some skater shop at age 16 on my mothers credit card. We went through my super-baggy-jeans-with-boxers skater phase. Good times. Many punk rock concerts and lots of fun. We went through college together, more good times. Then I know you spent many years in the dark closet, but after my feet spread from having babies you were the only tennis shoes that made the cut. Every body else hurt my body to wear, but not you old friend. You are the most comfortable shoes that I have every had. We have been together for 16 years and they have been good years.
But, it is time for us to go our separate ways. I know that I have been wearing you to work every day for three years, but this has got to stop. Thank you for sacrificing yourself to keep me comfortable. In the past few months I have noticed that you have crossed the line from vintage cool to shabby old and falling apart. I will miss you. Just like I still miss my awesome duck boots that had duct tape on them. But our time together has passed. I just don't have the heart to throw you away, but if I put you in the closet I know I will come back to you. I am going to ask Josh to get rid of you and never tell me about it.
I will always love you,