I do what works for me, my husband and the shorties. Then end. You should do what ever works for you. We are all different. We should respect each others differences. This is not a judgment call - just my personal opinion about my personal circumstances.
I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. Link here and here if you want to read more about it. I am a NICU nurse and I love the work. I grow as a person almost every day I go in. But my favorite gig is my other job - shortie patrol. I love running the house. I get so in to all the antics and craziness of our little farm and family. But I honestly I could not do this job with out my other one. They have a symbiotic relationship. I need to go to work and have my alone time in the car and my friend fun time at work so that I can come home. I need to feel like I am essential in helping critically ill babies and their families to feel fulfilled in myself. So then I can come home and focus 100% on the funny farm. I can't be a 24-7 shortie patroller, I need some time away so I can appreciate the time at home.
When I was pregnant with Lily I honestly thought that after she was born I would never go back to work again. I was working as a veterinarian tech and I didn't feel pride in what I did. But I knew that I wanted to feel that pride. The birth of Lily motivated me to go back to school and get an education in something that I would actual use and would do some good in the world. I only chose nursing because I knew I would always be able to get a good job, but I didn't think there was anyway I would like it. Then I found NICU and it was my calling. But so was being Lily's Mom and Josh's wife. I was pregnant with Max at my graduation from nursing school.
When he was born I never even thought about becoming a stay at home mom. I love this job too much. I need it for my mental health and growth. So now I am still a full time RN, which means I work three 12 hour shifts a week. That is currently just right. I am contributing well to the family financially but I am also contributing to myself.
Money - oh boring old money. I wish it was a non-issue. But here is the bottom line. If we sold our house and lived in a normal place we could afford for me not to work. But our farm is an intricate part of our identity. It is the keystone of the family and the only time I will ever move off this property is in a wood box. And then they better cremate me, bring me home, and sprinkle me on the tomatoes. I hope at least one of the kids builds a house in the back field. (Maybe they all will? I can dream.) So I work for that reason, too. But I think it is a good reason.
I feel like I have found a good balance between work and home. I could not do either of them with my whole heart with out the other one. Ying and yang.