::pop top bracelet::

We had a good time making these pop top bracelets.  

The directions came straight from here.   

::personal goals::

I have some personal improvements that I need to fix.  As usual I let them depress me for awhile and then I decided to do something about it  

1.  Manage my money better.   

I am cheap, but I still have a few bad habits left over from-the-spoiled-brat-living-off-my-parents days that need to be fixed.  Here is an example - I lost track of a bill and didn't pay it.  Then when it got too far behind I had to go get a money order to pay it.  Which I then lost.  Or maybe I mailed it.  I can't remember.  I had to waste time begging the company to give me another week to see if the money order turns up with them or if I really did throw it away.  The whole situation is so frustrating and embarrassing and ridiculous and unnecessary and time consuming.  

Other things to help with this:

    Be proactive about removing cash from the bank account on payday so it doesn't slowly disappear to small debit card purchases (damn you Qdoba)

     If the cash runs out then the money is gone.  Don't forget about gas and expect Josh to find some mystery money to bale me out. 

    Improve my commitment to making dinner when ever I am not working.  Include lunches in ideas for my my weekly meal plans. 

2.  Keep my car clean.

I have always had a super messy car.  But since I had kids I blame it on them.  Thats not my usually my gig.  I like to think I take responsibility for my mistakes, but I am so comfy just blaming the kids for my car and not doing anything about it.  I need to take personal responsibility for my car.  I once lost an envelope in my car that has a huge wad of cash in it.  I cried and I freaked, but I couldn't find it.  Josh had to do the excavation of the car and he finally found it.  The whole situation is so frustrating and embarrassing and ridiculous and unnecessary and time consuming - again.

3.  Get back to my daily house hold maintenance

I used to have something I would write in my notebook - it was W-F-D-L.  I got it from Jersey Shore GTL (gym, tan, laundry).  Mine stands for Workout, Feed (animals), Dishes, Laundry.  After the baby died last year and I spent so much time in a dark hole of faking it to just get through the day I let myself get into some survival laziness.  It doesn't matter if it was OK or not, because at this moment it is not ok anymore.  Here is the goal - every day I am off work or work 8 hours or less, the bare minimum that I have to do is Feed-Dishes-Laundry.  Once I get past my six week post baby check I have to get back to workouts too.  I also used to have a pattern of cleaning that I would do.  Every day off I would clean one major room and one minor.  Its time to get back to that rotation.  It worked well and stopped me from being overwhelmed.  

4.  At least once a week sit down and double check the next 2-3 weeks of the schedule.  

If I do that I will not get any surprises and have to scramble the night before.  I usually do this, but I need to stay super disciplined about this.  

5.  Get back to art and creativity with the kids.  

Every day doesn't have to be art camp but why can't every day off together be a day were we create at least one thing?  That is something I am never going to regret - encouraging those perfect shorties to be creative. 

::Where the Wild Things Are Party - the plan::

Mr Max is turning 4.  I kind of let it sneak up on me.  I kept going back and forth about having  a party.  Who would come all the way out to me in the middle of January?  Does he even care?  Am I just too flipping prego?  Excuses, excuses.  I don't care.  It's about that kid having a wonderfully good time - not about me submitting a very expensive party to all the party blogs.  So I am having a party for that little man - BUT I PROMISE YOU JOSH I WILL NOT GET FULL ON OUT OF CONTROL.  or will I?

For links to images go to my pintrest board

Location is going to be at the church gym very close to my house.  (FREE!)



Decor:

·         Max boat photo shoot – white background sheet duct taped to wall
                 Spray paint box and use wide marker to finish
                Mast with yellow sheets for sails
·         2 colors of green and 2 colors of streamer to make vines in doorways and around the gym
·         Sign “Let the Wild Rumpus Begin” on door with balloons
·         Quotes from the book around the tables

Food:
·         Table in corner for food with green sheets as table cloths and streamers behind it as background
·         Subtle plates and utensils, bring out cake plates to cut cake
·         Cake in middle built up on log riser
·         All treats and other food sprinkled around food table
·         Eating and relaxing tables X4?  With sheet table cloths of different greens and browns
·         Drinks and chicken dip over by kitchen area with plates and utensils
                     2L with ice and cups for soda

Activities:
·         Starter – crowns and water color page
                       Set up a “take home” station with names by the door
·         Masks and monster stampers
·         Max in a boat collage
·         Pin the tail on Max
·         Box fort area with vines
·         Kickballs and basketballs out for play

::kids tips from the ER::

My son Max in January 2010, age two. 

I am still loving working the ER.  Its wonderful.  As the only nurse that likes peds in a mostly adult oriented unit, I take care of lots of the kids that come in.  The hospital I work at is not a pediatric hospital, but people bring their kids in all the time.  One of the biggest issues I run into is parents who do not understand illness in their children.  Here are a few little tips about some of the most common educational needs I see -

Fever - kids get fevers.  If your child is under age one any fever is something that your pediatrician (NOT A DR IN AN ER) needs to know about.  Your pediatrician knows your child and knows you.  They will advise you as to if you should go to an ER, urgent care, or treat your child at home.  If your child is over one, then you need to treat your childs fever and understand that fevers are part of life.  Treatment can include Tylenol and/or Motrin to get the fever under control.  Alternate between them to get the best coverage.  Call your pediatrician for exact dosing and timing.  Don't bring me your kid that you have not given an medicine to in 6 hours, because the first thing I am going to do is give them some and send you home.  But the process will take three hours plus and your insurance is going to be mad.  Don't forget less aggressive fever treatments in addition to medicine, such as luke warm (not cold) wet wash cloths on the chest, forehead, and arms.  Change those cloths out frequently to keep them cool. 

On any given day I could have a kid come in via ambulance with fever related seizures and a temp of 104.  Give us 20 minutes, a dose of Tylenol, and a basin of room temperature water with wash clothes and that same kid will have a temp of 100.  20 minutes later and that kid is up, playing, and asking for ice cream.  Seizures are dangerous to your child - don't passively sit by and let the poor kid burn up.  Keep that fever under control.  Be proactive about your childs health. 

Do not think that you should let the fever build before you come see me so I will take you seriously about your kid being sick.  I will simply think that you are too ridiculous to treat your childs fever.  TREAT THE FEVER AT HOME - if your pediatrician agrees.  I have no greater medicine than you do to treat a common fever - Tylenol and Motrin.  You wouldn't let your self suffer with the aches and discomfort of a high fever, don't let your kid. 

Now scardy cat first time parents - if you freak the crunk out and are in a state of panic  - come to me.  But don't be shocked that I am not going to be able to fix your kid any better than you can.  I will gently educate you on how to take care of this yourselves next time, but if you come back in two days I will not be so gentle.   

Sore Throat - Call your pediatrician!  Please.  Because you don't belong with me.  I can't fix this.  I understand that work and school can get in the way of your child's doctors office hours.  That is exactly why you need to know what local urgent care takes your insurance before you need them.  If your child has a sore throat and your can't get ahold of your pediatrician, than take them to urgent care.  They will test for strep with the exact same test I have and they will write the exact same antibiotic script that we will give you.  But the cost to the health care system is a fraction as much.

Ear Ache -  This one just makes me mad.  Don't bring your kid to me for a flipping ear ache.  Go to the urgent care down the road.  This is what they do.  You should be embarrassed to take up the resources of an emergency room with an ear ache.  I promise you, that you will be waiting a long time because you are the very bottom of my priority list.  The heart attack next door will be getting all my attention and you will have to wait.  GO TO THE URGENT CARE~~~  Do it. 

Reasons to come see me: any kind of trauma (near drowning, choking, car crash), ANY issues with breathing, if you went to urgent care but they don't you to come to the ER, or if your childs doctor told you to come. 

Please understand - if you bring your child in the ER you need to mean it.  You needs to feel that they are so sick that it is worth it.  They may get stuck with needles.  They will be scared and uncomfortable.  They may scream every time I try to touch them.  We may miss their IV on the first stick and have to stick them a few times.  We don't want it to be that way, we don't enjoy hurting your child.  But we will if it is the best treatment for the child.  Don't blame me for this fact, you brought them to me to treat and I will.  

        

Now if you do really need to go to the ER, pack up a bag of toys and your cell phone charger and be prepared to spend at least 3 hours with me.  I promise I will be nice to you and do everything I can to make this easy for you and your kiddo.  

Last tip - take your child to a pediatric hospital.  If you were having a heart attack wouldn't you have them take you to the best heart hospital?  Do the same with your kid.  If you really think they are sick enough to go to the hospital, than you want them at a peds hospital.  You want a place that is set up for kids and has staff that is used to working with children.  We have two amazing children's hospitals in Indy.  USE THEM!!!!

::scott the tree::

A note from 50 year old Brooke - 

Dear 29+ year old Brooke,

Don't forget going with your big belly and two kids to pick out this crazy tree.  Don't forget that you were at that tiny place in Lebanon and the kids ran wild since you were the only ones there.  Don't forget lily helping you load and carry it.  Don't forget the kids naming it Scott and singing songs about how "Our tree is the fattiest tree in the world."  Which it just might be.  Don't forget how much those pretty little kids loved that tree and how it really made you feel the magic of Christmas.  

Love,

You

::new camera - I might throw up::

Cheap Cheap Cheap.  A word that I have worked hard to make a part of who I am.  I don't come by it naturally.  I love to just blow money on what ever I want.  But I am over two years being totally on the cheap wagon and I see the major benefits that it has brought to the Shorties and the entire family.

But - I love to take pictures.  I love to capture the moments and express myself with my art.  I even started working on a little side business doing family photography.  The addition of this new baby has made me decide to put professional pictures on hold for at least the next year.  But I do hope to get back to that eventually.  My favorite thing in the whole world is getting "the picture" of my kiddos.  The image that perfectly captures the emotion and moment in time.

I currently have a Nikon D50.  Josh bought it for me when Lily was a baby, 8 years ago.  I have rarely had it out of my reach since.  I take it Disney, I take it camping, I keep it on the desk in easy.  I don't let my kids touch it.  I protect it and love it.  I feel an emotional attachment to it.  We have seen lots of things together.  I think of my camera as an old friend, but that old friend is getting very old.

the actual picture my camera took as it hit the ground

In our years together I never dropped it, until last winter I slipped on the ice and it fell right on the ground.  I cried.  The lens was broken and the flash didn't pop up automatically anymore.  These were easy issues to take care of.  I had an extra lens and I figured out how to manually pop the flash.  But ever since then it has not taken pictures as well.  It is slower and I find myself missing shots.  Most of my indoor work is fuzzy.  It's just not able to keep up anymore.  With the new baby coming on February 3rd I need a camera that is ready for the constant newborn pictures I will be taking.  

It is time for a new camera.  This is were my cheap side and my artist side get in such a big fight that I am crippled with fear of making a bad choice.  I love Nikon camera's.  I had a film Nikon before my D50 that I just loved the feel of it.  Then I got my D50 and I love the way that one feels too.  They are bigger than Cannons and I love that about them.  I think I have it narrowed down to two options -

Option one: Nikon 3100
Stats: 14.2 mega pixel, shoots 10 min videos, iso range 100-3200
Cost on Amazon: $599







 Option two: Nikon 5100

Stats:16.3 mega pixel, rotating view screen, iso range 100-6400, shoots video
Cost on Amazon: $799




I am currently shooting at 6.1 mega pixels, so I don't have much room to go any where but up.  At this moment I am currently leaning toward the 3100.  It's so much cheaper and it should really do everything I want it to do.  Now the money part of it still makes me want to throw up.  I'm not sure I can actual buy such an excessive item.  Maybe I can find a used one?  I know I will have it for years, but still... $600.  BARF!

::out of gas::

I think we have to get a couch in the playroom.  

Poor Max feel asleep like a kitty in the chair.  

Such a cute little man.  

::christmas program::

Lily had her school Christmas program.  Max was my date since Josh had to do a night shift that night.  He was so badly behaved that I about killed him.  

Lily was so cute!  As usual she had the best drama in the group.  The other kids go through the motions but my Lily is ready to perform.  I think she is so fun. 

::lemon sugar scrub::

I really enjoy the blog Under the Table and Dreaming.  Stephanie has such a creative mind and the coolest art room I have ever coveted.  She had a great hand scrub recipe for mothers day that I thought might make good teacher gifts for Christmas this year. 

 We made a double batch of this recipe -

          2.5 cups of sugar

          1 cups of extra virgin olive oil

          4 table spoons of fresh lemon juice

 We didn't have cheese cloth so we squeezed our lemons over our rice strainer to make sure we didn't have any seeds.  Then we made Josh come in and squeeze them harder than we could.  The three lemons gave us exactly 8 tablespoons of juice. 

 

Our double patch made up five small jelly jars and almost one full big jar.  

Plenty for every one.  

A little circle of scrapbook paper dressed them up nicely.  

But Lily wanted to dress them up more, so we bought some cheap bows at target and dressed them up even more.  

Cost:

     Sugar $2.75

     Lemons $2

     Olive Oil $7

            Total = $11.75

We had enough for 9 little jars (maybe 10)

But with 9 little jars our total cost was $1.30 each

We already had the jars left over form making jelly

Extra = bows $1 each 

            Gift bags $1 each

::max and max and the Grinch::

 I had forgotten that we got a stuffed Grinch and a stuffed Max from Santa last year.  

My Max was delirious with joy to find them in our boxes this year.

::lily back in sports???::

Lily often has her own plan.  

My plan may be considered but has no real interaction with her plan. 

For instance, I had this plan when she was five that she would go to a different camp every week all summer and that would help her "find" what kind of activities she was most interested in.

Four days into soccer camp at a very fancy local private school I was called to come pick her up for throwing her metal water bottle at a student and throwing a ball at one of the coaches.  

Let's just say it was not one of our finer moments.

I pulled her out of the rest of the camps for the summer and she was happy as a clam.

But she flatly refused to do any sports after that. 

And I learned an important lesson about not pushing her.

Imagine my surprise when three years later she brings home a sign up for a basket ball club that she wants to join.  

My rule is that if you sign up for something you have to finish the class.  You don't have to like it, but you have to finish.  (Unless you attack the coach and are kicked out.)  We reviewed the rules, but she still wanted to sign up.  I was very afraid. 

But it has been wonderful!

She loves it.  That kid loves to compete. When its her turn to sit the bench she is so annoyed and pesters the coach to put her back in.  She wants to run and shoot and play!  I didn't not see that one coming.  But what a pleasant surprise.  

And no other players or coaches have been attacked by her. 

::peppermint bark::

 I LOVE white chocolate.  It is just about my favorite things ever.  I also know that my wonderful neighbors love it too.  So I thought the kids and I would have fun making some peppermint bark.  

 I don't actually own a double boiler so we just use a heat safe spatula and pyrex bowl - placed over a pan of boiling water.  Lily got to help with spatula duty.  It scares the crap out of me to let her use the stove but I was right next to her the whole time. 

  

While we were stirring, Max was carefully crushing two pounds of candy canes.  We put them in a ziplock and let him beat them with cans.  It was a perfect job for that beast.  When the chocolate was melted we poured in the candy canes and stirred them in.  We sprayed pam into two baking sheets and then poured in the chocolate mix.  We let it cool and harden for two hours and then used a fork to pop out chunks. 

We ended up with a TON of it.  Which is not a problem.  We gave away about 2/3rds of it and kept the rest to snack on.  It tastes wonderful and was a perfect kid easy cooking project. 

Two dozen candy canes $1 each box X 2 = $2.00

Three bags of white chocolate chips $2.50 X 3 = $7.50

Total cost = less than $10

::Quinn's room::

At some point I channeled my nesting crazy into working over time instead of doing things for this baby.  Which is actually a good thing if the current shorties would like to have a Christmas this year.  But know I have to start thinking about this little man.  I sold a bunch of stuff and had a decent little next egg all built up to do his room with.  Then two things happen - an overly expensive trip to Disney (worth it) and the sudden fact of how I was going to organize three kids into two tiny bedrooms.  

Does it really make sense to spend money to redo a room for Quinn when he is not even going to be in it very long?  Let me try to explain my grand master-how-to-shuffle-kids-around plan.  (I just love a good run on sentence)  Mr Quinn will be born around early February.  At that point Mr Max will go into Lily's room and sleep in the extra bed that Emma currently uses.  When Emma sleeps over we will do a queen size blow up on the floor and I bet all three big kids will sleep in it together.  Sleep overs are their fav.  My Quinn is going to sleep in what is currently Max's room.  Yes, Max is still in a crib.  Don't judge.  He never tried to climb out of the cage and I never tried to teach him how.  He can climb on top of the fridge, but he does not want to climb out of the crib.  No arguments from me.  It's just part of being a curly head I guess. 

My Quinn's first room is getting no make over.  Its basically a crib in a tiny room.  We have historically had a changing table in our family room, not in the babies room.  I think this is going to work fine.  As soon as the Quinn is mostly sleeping through the night things are going to change.

Max and Quinn will go in the bigger room together.  I have many great idea's and plans for how this will come together.  Think a rad steal grey with orange highlights and an entire wall that is magnetic or whiteboard.  Then some bunk beds and super cool boy stuff, like those great dark red lockers I have.  I'll do a full idea board post soon.  I am thinking this will get done some time this late spring or early summer.  Then as soon a Quinn is even close to old enough I will take  his crib to the burn pile and get him in the lower bunk till he is 18.  I have been Pintrest-ing ideas for their room for awhile.  Link here to see.   

Lily will get the little tiny room redone in super upper bright pink and glam.  A little girls room done over the top just like my baby girl loves.  It will have to have a trundle bed for sleep overs and Emma.  I'll be doing lots of idea boards on this too eventually.  I think this should be done mid summer.  Link here to see the start of my pintrest ideas.  

Please throw me your ideas.  I am also opening those two boards up so that you can add pins to them if you want to.  

::mock up X-mas::

Josh and I have not bought each other presents since... we met.  We would have had some play money this year, but the upcoming unpaid maternity leave has us fearful.  So another year with no presents.  But we have been playing a cute little game with each other the last week or so.  This game is titled, "What Would You Buy Me With BLANK Budget".  We insert different sums to keep the game interesting.  Obviously the one million mark has some pretty fun stuff attached to it.  But since we have never bought each other gifts I don't know what is a normal amount of money to spend on another adult at Christmas.  We usually stick to the $250-500 mark in our play land.

With that said I would buy Josh -

These weirdo ear cover things that keep coming up on my amazon page meaning he is looking at them 

A new iphone upgrade.  Enough said.  

A ukulele, because it keeps coming up randomly in conversation.  I think he might be destined to have one.  How cute to see that big guy play a tiny little instrument and make happy music.  Ukelele's only play happy music.

A netbook.  That I promise not to steal.  Pinky swear.  Not even to play that odd ball game that I seem to be kind of obsessed with - LEVEL 16!!!!  Maybe an iPad instead but that might already be out of my pretend budget. 

Plug in heated seat for that piece of crap Saturn that he is driving around with duct tape holding together to spend nothing on gas.  While his fancy truck that he loves to drive sits in the barn.  He is is way too hot to drive that Saturn, but at least his butt could be warm. 

And a nice beard trimmer so he can continue to come up with interesting facial hair arrangements, and I can continue to secretly use it to trim the dogs face.  (His last one is broke.  Maybe I dropped it.  Maybe I didn't.) 

::christmas planning 2011::

I go into a state of military like strategy and planning when it comes time for Christmas.  I make Santa long list and and check them 200 times.  This is no joke.  I am not kidding around.  If I decided on a present for the shorties and I find it cheaper somewhere else after I already bought it I just about freak out. 

Now as a former bad shopper I struggle with going to the mall and not being impulsive.  There are always a few things that slip in.  To get some control I do 90% of my shopping online.  That way I can stay true to my list and compare prices between at least three sites before I buy anything.  I try to stick to just three large sites because then returns are easier and customer service issues are quickly resolved.  I have learned that it is best if all my shopping is done in the first week of December because that is a Cyper Monday week with lots of free shipping options.  I only paid two dollars in shipping for every single thing that I bought this year. 

The sites I used were amazon, walmart.com, and target.com
I found a killed good deal at tigerdirect.com to get Emma's netbook.  

I did do some face time at target and walmart (in the SAME day - unheard of for me) to get things like hats and stocking stuffers.  I managed to keep the impulse buys to almost nothing. 

I keep the kids to the same number of presents every year.  No one has ever noticed or counted them, but I feel like that keeps things fair.  The amount of money spent its totally different, but the actual number of presents is equal.  Santa brings about half the presents and all the stockings, and the rest are from Josh and I.  Each kid gets a trip to the store to pick out one $20 item for the other kids.  Max really wanted to get Emma a race track but I talked him out of it.  The two little kids each get a morning gift in their room that they open and play with while Josh goes to pick up Emma and I make breakfast.   

X-mas List 2012

Family

    Seat back DVD players $100 (layaway at WM)

    Leap Pad Explorer $100 (LA at WM)

        Explorer case $17 (amazon)

        Charger $10 (walmart.com)

        App Expander $20 (amazon)

    Wall mounted pencil sharpener (Amazon)

Lily

    Tink explorer book $20 (LA at WM)

    Fijit purple $40 (LA at WM)

    Locking journal $25 (LA at WM)

    Polly Pocket $19 (target)

    Crayola Jewelry Maker $15 (walmart.com)

    Pillow pet - zebra $20 (walmart.com)

    Coat/pants $65(target)

    Winter boots $30 (target.com)

    American Girl Doll Dress and Mask $50 (bought)

  

    From Emma: Zoobles  $20 (walmart.com)

    From Max: Zoobles $15 (target)

    Morning gift

        Rapunzle hair style bust $30 (Amazon)

    Stocking:

        Ornament $7 (target)

        Hat and gloves  $12(target)

        Mini Sing a ma jig $5 (walmart.com)

        Nail Tats $8

        Flip and draw book $10 (Amazon)

        Candy and small toys $20

        Tooth brush

      

Max

    Cars play rug $20 (layaway at WM)

    Penguins explorer book $20 (LA at WM)

    Pillow Pet - giraffe $20 (walmart.com)

    Mud boots $24 (Amazon)

    Lego Duplo Firestation  $27 (amazon)

    Duck Hunter Extreme $50 (Amazon)
                    This may be the toy I am most excited about, click the link and check it out

    Flash light set $10 (Target)

    Bath toys $30 (target.com)

    Perry Jammies $10 (target.com)

  

    From Emma: Cars $21 amazon

    From Lily: BUY $20

    Morning gift:

        Cars track $35

    Stocking:

        Hand tats (Amazon)

        Mini Sing a ma jig $5 (walmart.com)

        Flip and draw $10 (Amazon)

        Hat and gloves $9 target

        Hot wheels cars $5

        Small toys and candy

        Toothbrush

Emma

    Netbook $308.45 (tiger direct)

    Case and Mouse $22 (Amazon or Buy)

    Head buds $10 (walmart)

    USB $10 (walmart)

    Footie Jammies $20 BUY

    Pillow pet $20 (walmart.com)

    Boots/clothes $30 BUY

    Jewelry ??? $20 BUY

    Clothes ??? $20 BUY

    From Max: Headband $10 (target)

    From Lily: BUY $20

    Stocking:

        Hat and gloves $24 (target)

        Sing a ma jig $5 (walmart.com)

        Nail tats

        Tooth brush

        Make up

      

I basically have just about everything except for a few little things for Emma. 

::girlscouts and mother daughter dances::

The other night Lily and I went to the Girl Scouts Mother Daughter Pajama Night.  It was a very cute two hour party for girls and their moms.  I had to go out and buy us both pajama's to wear since at this point neither of us owns a presentable pair.  Lily wears her Dad's T-shirts to bed and I just wear ratty old stuff that is big enough for my belly.  But off we went in our matching brand new owl jammies.  We decorate pillow case and made picture frames.  They had a DJ and Lily danced her little heart out with me mostly just watching due to my expanding girth.  Lily loved it.  The whole thing would have been very cute.  BUT for one little problem that has been building up.

Last year the troop had more members.  This year it is down to the "core three" as I think of them and Lily.  The "core three" are three little girls and their moms that are hard core about girl scouts.  They have all the patches.  They do ALL the stuff.  The are not kidding around.  The moms were big into girl scouts when they were kids.  I'm not sure about all three, but two of them grew up together in the same small rural area we all live in.  They all three know each other well and get along great.  I have never had a problem with them.  EXCEPT - (here comes the turn) for the fact that the troop leader can be one of the biggest trash talkers that I have ever met.  She gets disproportionately angry and resentful about petty little things.  I don't want to go into every example of it, because my goal here is not to trash her.

I  am going to say just one example because I want an illustration of what I am talking about. This is just one of many situations like this that arrise.  At the PJ party we brought pillows and blankets and people spread them on the floor of the 4H exhibit hall.  It has cement floor and is well maintained, but still it is the floor of a building at a 4H grounds.  The troops blankets were all spread out in the middle of the floor.  No other troop had their stuff out that far.  Someone sat on the edge of the blankets and got their picture taken with their daughter.  You would have thought they peed on it.  She brought it up several times and to several different moms about "those people being all over her blankets."  "I guess I am going to just have to take them home and throw them all in the washer."  Listen, I am not scared of dirt but I certainly wasn't going to eat food off the floor of the 4H building.  She just kept going on and on and on and on about those stupid blankets.  I about came unglued.  I can't take that kind of negative silliness.  And I don't want to be around it.  What do they say about me when I leave?

Another big issue I have is that the three other girls are very close and exclude Lily.  My Lily is so unused to being excluded that she hardly even notices.  I think it goes right over her head.  But it makes my mama bear side come raging to the surface.

If you asked Lily she would tell you that she loves Girl Scouts.  If I miss a meeting she asks when the next one is.  She wants so much to be part of it for all the right reasons - she loves the concept of learning new things and making friends at the same time.  She loves what Girl Scouts is supposed to be.  But that is not what it actually is.  So for the first time ever, instead of encouraging her to try any activity she can even dream of I am going to rein her back.  I am not going to let her go back.  We are done.  She does not know that, and I don't know how to tell her.  To the leader I am going to plead too busy with new job and new upcoming baby.  But I don't know what to tell Lily.

-Sorry kiddo - I don't want you hanging around negative adults because I don't trust them to be kind to you behind your back and I don't like the behavior they model to you.  Besides the other kids are not including you  in their reindeer games.- That's the truth, but I am not going with that.  No way.  I think I will just make it up as I go.

PS -

Dear Grown Up Lily -

You are the most important thing in my entire life.  I constantly agonize over making the right choices with you.  I yell at you too much.  I am imperfect and I make excuses for my behavior.  But I adore you.  Every single day I adore you and no one gets the chance to demo crappy behavior to you if I can control it.  Not even me.  You are too good and right with the world to have to be around that stuff.  I am sorry I pulled you out of the Girl Scout troop you thought you loved in second grade.  It was the right thing to do for you at the time.  Love - Mommy

::Quinn at 31 weeks::

Quinn is now 31 weeks.  He weights about 3.5 pounds and is the size of four oranges.  Every time I go to NICU I take care of babies that are smaller than him.  It really puts it into perspective when you hold a little person and think "this guy in my belly is even bigger than this."  Amazing.  He has been trucking along being a perfect gentleman.  My OB appointments are smiles all the way around the room.  The planning part of me was super excited when my wonderful OB told me we could schedule my induction for February 3rd.  She said that this time she would just have me come in the morning of and we would not bother with coming in the night before and getting Cervadil (a cervical dilator that doesn't work on me).  She wants me to come in that morning, get my water broke, and start pitocin.  Josh and I say we want a baby by lunch time :)

My OB gave me all kinds of loving for only gaining 13lbs so far.  I have zero idea how that happened.  I eat like a horse all day every day.  I told her that I deserve no credit.  She didn't care, she was just glad.

Stunning to me is that I am NOT gestationally diabetic.  I have not been before, but I just felt like this time was my turn.    I am older and have a history of a previously large for gestational age baby.  But I dodged the bullet.  I was pretty afraid about giving up my Qdoba habit. 

I still have not had issues with morning sickness.  I keep waiting for it to hit me, but I feel like if I made it this long I should be pretty good.  I am walking fine with little to no hip pain.  I do the best if I work in the ED were I walk all day long.  Sitting in NICU makes my hips get sore.  I really have had my least complex pregnancy ever, and for that I am very grateful.  But - I still have this strong pull/calling that it is time to stop.  Time to count my blessings and focus on what I have.  I can't ever commit to such a thing, but I for the first time in my life I finally have that "its time to stop having babies" feeling that I never could understand in other people.

But for now I am going to revel in this little baby kicking me and try to enjoy the rest of the ride.

More recent update:  I got the stomach flu and ended up having to spend a few hours in triage to get some IV fluids.  It's amazing what some IV nausea meds and LR can do to get you right back on track.  

::all three together::

I just love when I run across three kids smashed into a spot that really shouldn't hold one. 

::an old trumpet::

Out of Josh's parents attic came an old trumpet.  This trumpet had been loved by a young Josh.  It had played "Hip To Be Square" many times.  It had lived in his room and been part of his daily life.  It road the school bus with him and had some great times.  But at some point it ended up pushed in a corner.  Then it found its way into the attic.  But a few weeks ago if got brought down with the Christmas decorations and sent home in my van.  I had no idea how much emotional attachment I would feel for this instrument that isn't even mine. 

Its like Buzz and Woody getting played with again to watch the kids play on this trumpet.   Josh mentioned selling it and I freaked out.  It will never leave this house unless its to ride the school bus with Max.  

::flea bag dog::

That poor little fluffy dog has fleas.  It happens.  She is part barn dog, don't let her looks fool you.  I always treated my dogs with Frontline before, especially when it became over the counter.  I was looking for cheap Frontline on ebay once and found a site for a lady that sells you one tube of the giant bread size, a 1mL syringe, and a small amber vial.  When it arrived you put the whole tube of FL into the vial.  Then each time you want to use a dose you draw up 0.64 mLs and apply it to your toy bread dog.  That one tube of FL last for six applications.  Brilliant.  Seriously, who ever figured this out is so stinking smart.  

The other day I looked down and noticed that Lizzie was chewing herself raw.  Flea's were back.  I only treat her when she actually needs it, not just as a preventative.  I knew it was time to treat that poor little thing again.  But I was feeling cheap and needed something right away.  I knew that Walmart sold a generic form of Frontline.  I was at my inlaws and going to a different super store so I thought I would pick some up.  I bought her some Sargeant's Evolve.  I applied it just as directed.  The toy breed size was  about three times as much product as Frontline and turned her into an oil slick.  At $12 for three applications I was really hopeful for future purchases that it would work.  That crap did nothing at all.  I gave it a week and she was still covered with flea's.  If not worse.

I trotted myself down to Walmart and bought the generic flea treatment product called Pet Armor.  The cost for three toy breed applications was $25.  I put one of those on her and she hasn't itched since.  36 hours latter and I can't find a single flea on her.  But that got me thinking.  Could I buy the giant breed size and get multiple treatments for her?  What about my big dogs?  Would it work on them too?

Here is a cost comparison for Lizzie who weights under 10 pounds -
Frontline as recommended pack of three =                     $13.33 per treatment
Frontline giant breed broken into dosages =                   $2.22 per treatment
Crap that doesn't work    =                                              Not worth it, even if free
Walmart brand as recommended pack of three =                $8.33 per treatment
Walmart giant breed broken into dosages =                   $1.388 per treatment

Why is it that finding another way to cut money corners makes me so stinking happy?

::testing a lily::

Baby Lily

After much debate and strong but kind pleading on my part I have talked Lily's school into testing her for a learning disability.  It has been coming since kindergarten and I am feeling very excited about the prospect of getting it all going.  I am currently working on filling out all her paperwork.  I am happy to say that after that process I am feeling very hopeful.  They had a check list were you mark the behaviors that your child struggles with, I was happy she does not:

Set fires

Abuse substances

Steals

Often swears (that would be her mother)

Hallucinates

Harms animals

She did get checked on:

Fidgets

Poor concentration

Difficulty completing tasks

Often is loud

Easily frustrated

Who else does that sound like???????  Maybe me?  Even her check marks are kind of cute.