Lily often has her own plan.
My plan may be considered but has no real interaction with her plan.
For instance, I had this plan when she was five that she would go to a different camp every week all summer and that would help her "find" what kind of activities she was most interested in.
Four days into soccer camp at a very fancy local private school I was called to come pick her up for throwing her metal water bottle at a student and throwing a ball at one of the coaches.
Let's just say it was not one of our finer moments.
I pulled her out of the rest of the camps for the summer and she was happy as a clam.
But she flatly refused to do any sports after that.
And I learned an important lesson about not pushing her.
Imagine my surprise when three years later she brings home a sign up for a basket ball club that she wants to join.
My rule is that if you sign up for something you have to finish the class. You don't have to like it, but you have to finish. (Unless you attack the coach and are kicked out.) We reviewed the rules, but she still wanted to sign up. I was very afraid.
But it has been wonderful!
She loves it. That kid loves to compete. When its her turn to sit the bench she is so annoyed and pesters the coach to put her back in. She wants to run and shoot and play! I didn't not see that one coming. But what a pleasant surprise.
And no other players or coaches have been attacked by her.