::10 days past::

It has been ten days since my last post.

I think that is my record. 

I miss blogging.  It's my personal therapy.

But now I feel like I have so much to say I don't know were to start.

How about a quick summary of a few of my biggest thoughts running around in my brain?

Quinn - delicious.  I ADORE having a baby in this house.  I tell him every day that he is the smartest little man I have ever met.  (Don't tell Max.)  I can hardly get enough of him.  His sleep habits could stand improvement, but I am not ready yet to really do something about that problem.

Work - improved.  Lots.  I decided on leave that I had two options - whine about my job and still have to go or learn to like it and still have to go.  I can not stand bitching for the sake of bitching.  I decided to go with option B.  And it is working.  I really like my job now.  It is different from St Vincent.  It always is going to be.  But it is having a major positive factor in my climb out of debt and I LOVE the people that I work with.  From this day forth I except the imperfections of my crazy resource team manager and am going to try to say something positive to her every time she says something nuts. 

Back to work - hard.  I was really liking being a stay at home mom this time around.  The house was spotless(ish) when I went back.  It is amazing how one night with Josh in charge can produce so much clutter.  I feel like I work all day and get to come home to work all the next day.  And the next.  And the next.  But that just means I got to rise to the challenge.  I am just a little too under rested to be tough.  (But I slept off and on from 10P till noon the other day.)  In all fairness - Josh is trying.  He is just out of shape when it comes to taking care of the house.  He has been super spoiled by me for the past few weeks. 

My mother inlaw - a dream come true.  She is watching Max when I work.  Who else can love your kids as much as you and want all the right things for them?  The best mother inlaw ever.  Seriously - she is amazing.  It makes me so happy.

Well that is a quick and dirty summary.  Not the best writing I have ever done but it gets the things that have been burning up my brain out. 

::chickens and dogs::

I hear its national poultry day, so I walked to write a little about my ladies and how they do with the dogs that could eat them.

  I do not fancy myself a dog trainer.  If you show up here there is a pretty good chance that Bruno is going to jump up on you.  I don't know why.  He doesn't do it to me and I don't know how to make him stop.  But I have taught the dogs to love chickens.  Not the easiest feat since Bruno wants to herd everything on the farm.

laying by the dog houses

All I did was supervise the first few free ranging times and constantly tell the farm dogs no if they even sniffed at the chickens.  Our lab, Alberta,  doesn't have much drive to hunt anything so she was easy.  Bruno took a little more time.  The little fluffy dog, Lizzie, could care less about chickens.  But by now they are all best friends.  I have seen the chickens walk right over a sleeping Alberta like she was a log instead of walking around her.

Poor little chickens go back in their coop and run soon since the garden is getting going, but for now they are loving free range of the farm.

::leprechaun traps 2012::

We set our traps again this year, but that little man got away again.  He left his candy behind.

And he dyed our milk green!

Better luck next year. 

::mod baby::

This is not my first rodeo, but baby stuff is always evolving.  I try hard to stay out of it.  It's best for the impulse shopper in me to avoid Babies R Us.  It's amazing what you can live without if you don't know any better. But some baby products are so good they can not be ignored.  I have found three that I am in love with.

 The Moby Wrap

This is not a new thing on the baby scene, but I was always intimidated by it and didn't use it with my other kids.  I thought it looked too complex.  But one of my friends had her baby comfy tucked into one, and let me investigate.  I knew this would be a perfect way to hold the new baby all the time and still keep up with the house and other shorties.  I started playing around with the wrap the day after we brought Quinn home.  It was perfect for cooking dinner, while doing spelling words, and stopping Max from burning the joint down.  Then a last minute trip to join Josh in Florida had me flying solo with a one month old.  He spent almost the entire flight and weekend in his Moby wrap, and he loved it.  He was all perfectly nestled in it.  I love multi tasking and anything that lets me bond with the baby and still stay connected to the other kids is perfect.  This was a little bit of a splurge at $45, but well worth it.  I will use this thing to take Quinn to his kindergarten class - ok, too far. 

The Snot Sucker

GREATEST THING EVER!!!  Quinn got a cold with in five days of coming home.  Darn school age kids and all their germs.  A baby with a stuffy nose is a miserable thing.  I was teasing with another NICU nurse that I wanted some wall suctions to clear him out.  She told me about this Snot Sucker device.  I told her I was willing to try anything.  Less than $20 latter and I was in business.  This thing works wonderful.  It looks bizarre and it freaks people out when ever I use it but it is pure genius.  You put one end on the babies nares and the other end you suck out the snot.  Sounds gross, right?  It has a filter on it and long tubing so the secretions don't get in your mouth.  Promise.  I wish I had this with Max and Lily.  If you invite me to your baby shower you are getting one of these.  Mock it if you want, but at 3AM with a stuffy nosed baby you will use it. 

Aden + Anais Swaddle Blanket

Quinn all wrapped up

Blankets are blankets.  Cheap is good.  Usually all true.  But these little luxuries are wonderful.  They are super thin muslim with just a tick of stretch to it.  You can wrap the baby up really snug and keep them very comfy.  Quinn sleeps in one every night.  I keep one in my diaper bag at all times because they are pretty big, just right for covering up while breast feeding.  They are light weight so the baby doesn't cook in them or under them while your breast feeding.  They are lovely too, which is always nice.  I took care of a wonderful set of triplets whose mama turned me on to these blankets, even gave me a pack as a baby present.  (Love my Maurer triplets.)  These things are wonder.  They wash great and just get softer and softer.  A set of three costs about $45.  Pricey for blankets, but one set of three is plenty for one baby. 


 

::an apology::

Dear friends,

I am sorry.  

I am sorry that I spent the last year disconnected from you.  I am sorry that I was a bad friend to you.  I was disinterested and disconnected.  I didn't call and I didn't show up, and if I did I was trying hard to be mental present - but I was not.  Several of you had to give up on me, you had your own crap to deal with.  I don't blame you.  But I am ready to participate now.  I came home from the hospital with Quinn and I had an emotion that I hadn't felt in a long time.  I couldn't wait for my visits.  I sincerely felt excited to spend time with friends.  I didn't feel like I was the white elephant in the room any more.  I don't feel like a big faker anymore. 

I didn't want to internalize.  It was a survival strategy.  I was so fractured after the baby died that I couldn't function.  But I knew that I had to "fake it till you make it".  I had to get up every day and keep my family together.  Over that time it became less fake and more real.  I was pretty good around the shorties, but I just could not find the place in my brain that was able to be a friend.  It was still hidden in fog.  And once my soul was healed by Quinn I rediscovered the friend piece of my brain.  

I want to sit with you guys.  I want to have dinner and lunch.  I want to get our hair did and talk about our crazy kids.  I miss you, and if you are willing to take me back I would like to be your friend again. 

Love,

Brooke

::rainbow rice krispies::

I love rainbows so very much.

When I saw the idea for these on pintrest I knew that my Lily would love it just as much as me.

I had to make them in this dish because of my friend over at the sunshine state.  She has some wonderful ideas.  Go check her out.  Her rainbow slush is stunning.    

 With a constantly nursing baby I knew that Lily and I had limited time to do this project.  I had everything all laid out ahead of time.  It looked so pretty all lined up. 

One little kid had to have a sample.  

 We melted the butter and then added the marshmallows.  When they started melting me put in the food coloring.  We went with out 15-20 drops of color per batch.  We made a half batch for each color.  That comes up to - 3 cups rice krispies, 2 cups marshmallows, and 2 T butter. 

Purple was our favorite.  Lily sang it the "Star Spangle Banner".

Please note that we made it upside down.  Red really should have been on top.  

Lizzie was on alert under the island to help with clean up.  

Photo by Lily.  

Another great Lily shot.  

 It was hard to get the first slice out, but after that they were no problem.  

 

::quinn is one month old::

I am adoring my time home with this baby.  Only two more weeks left.  It isn't long enough.  But it is the reality of the situation and crying over spilled milk is not going to make it any better.

He has been a great little man so far.  Burps so loud it makes the other kids laugh.  Eats amazingly well.  Very snugly.  Growing like a weed.  He whas fit in very well around here.
 

HAHAHAHAHA!!!  I wanted to steal this hat from my Becky M., and I love his facial expression.

 

::max is the star of the week::

Max is the star of the week at preschool.  Here is his form he had to have filled out and take to class.  

All About Me
   
1.  My favorite color is ________blue_________.

2.  My favorite book is ___The Little Mouse, the Red-Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear by Woods______.

 My favorite movie is _Madagascar______.

 My favorite activity is ____going outside to play, being the Star of the Week, playing with my sister Lily, wrestling with daddy, sitting on mommy's lap, snuggling my grammy, and snacking with papaw.

 When I grow up I want to be a _super hero_.

 I’m special because__I am kind, I can work puzzles, I know the words to lots of songs, I am a good listener, I'm a good big brother, and I have curly hair and blue eyes.

 I was born in _________Indiana______.

 My favorite food is ___macaroni and cheese________.

 I have a pet named ______Lizzie_______.

The person I most admirer is ___mommy because she buys me nice things, and she (her) likes me____.

My favorite part of school is _sitting on the carpet to listen to stories and playing on the playground_.


 
He also had to take in some of his favorite pictures.  Here are the some of the ones he picked.