Friday, March 4, 2011

::right now::

Things are so good right now.  

My brain is almost totally back to normal.  95%

I miss Zack, but I don't go through the day thinking about him.  

I do think about his little sibling a lot.  He's still three eggs back in line, but he's a good one.  

For sure.   I already love him.  Little Cheeto.  Lily named him.

I can't wait to be pregnant again. 

I have my first photo shoot in a long time today.
A one year old perfect angel.  
Screw you rain - we have a plan to get around you!!!!
This will be my first indoor shoot and I am excited at the chance to learn and grow.
I will post pictures asap.
Unless they suck.

The kids are so good.  The best things have been since before Zack died.  We have this great pattern and rhythm worked out.  We read more books and snuggle more and we all like it.  Lily's chore chart has taken the stress out of after school and made it fun.  (But Max still might go to kindergarten in diapers.)

Josh is wonderful.  Amazing as always.   Such a rock in my life.  He is liking his new job more than he thought, which is always nice.   It's kind of inspiring me to be a little more open to job options, but we will see about that.  It's hard to leave something you love to risk doing something that you might not.

I got to eat at paradise cafe yesterday for the first time.  How can that be?  THAT PLACE IS HEAVEN!  But how many points is a red velvet cookie?

AND I got the crap beat out of me in a good way yesterday at a Chinese reflexology place.  Seriously, they BEAT YOU UP!  But then you feel so good.  Its crazy.  I had WONDERFUL company who warned me before hand that they touch your butt.  Which still made me laugh, because I am 12 years old.  

Lastly - I really want to thank you all again for all the support that this blog has brought me though my ordeal.  People I have never met have become great sources of support to me.  Friends to me.  It has made this a growing experience (still working on a post about that), instead of something that I had to be institutionalized over. 


  1. This post makes me so happy. It sounds like you are really starting to find yourself again and have learned to live with the loss. Keep moving forward!

  2. Miss Red Head posted almost exactly what I wanted to say. So at the risk of sounding repetitive--I am so happy that you are feeling more like yourself. Sometimes life can be just one foot in front of the other until you get past the trying times. Often I have looked back on those times and realize that they have helped to form who I am, though I would not want to go through them again. Take care.



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