::scavenger hunt::

Don't fall for the cuteness.

These monster were driving me crazy the other day.

I made Lily go get a notebook and gave her items to find in a scavenger hunt.

Just to get them outside.

But it turned out really cute.  

And a perfect way to get a half of on snuggling/nursing peace with the baby.  

 

Disregard my garlic bulbs in the background.  They are drying.

This person did not help much with the scavenger hunt.

::yard sale glory::

$10 on a Sunday afternoon can take you very far at yard sales.  People are busting to make that last little bit of money before they drag the leftovers off to Goodwill.  I saw this bike for Lily and just couldn't resist the banana seat awesomeness. 

But - she doesn't know how to ride a bike.  Josh is helping her learn. 

 

This little boy needed something unsafe to play with too. 

Like a skateboard.

He told me he is going to drive it down a mountain.  Good luck with that is central Indiana. 

::glimpse of a garden update::

 How have we lived here ten years and never planted one tree?  Doesn't that just seem crazy?  The problem was solved by my mothers day present of two peach trees and one plum tree.

They are so cute!!  I just love them.  I have been making Josh take tractor buckets full of water to them almost every day.  I wish I could fast forward them into being grown. 

 I have been carefully stagger the planting of spinach and lettuce all around my garden.  The cat killed my first batch of lettuce but the next batch is coming in under some tomatoes.  By the time the tomatoes are big the lettuce will love the shade.  Right?  Maybe?  We will see. 

 

 The cat killed almost all of my first batch of carrots too, but she isn't getting these little friends.  A curve of fence should keep them safe. 

 This is my favorite experiment spot.  I carefully piled tons of compost and leaves behind my garden last year.  This year I raked in out and planted different kinds of sunflowers and climbing green beans.  I see the beans growing up the sunflowers and along the wood fence.  Let's see what happens.  

 The broccoli is coming in like crazy.  I can't wait to eat this stuff. 

 The orchard is a slow process.  Fruit is just expensive to buy.  One entire row of blueberry's got finished off this year.  I really hope to get row two done this year, at least half of it.  The other rows will eventually be blackberry's and raspberries, but this year it is going to be pumpkins.  See the big orchard garden in the background?  It's full of sunflowers that came up from last year that I couldn't mow down, my asparagus patch, and the rest is all watermelons and cantaloupe.   

 See the first little pumpkin?

The blueberries are begging for some mulch.  It's on my list. 

::max - year one down::

Max first day of school - August 2011

Max last day of school May 2012

Still some room to grow into that backpack. 

An interview with Max:

Who is your best friend at school? Cade, because he's my best friend

What is your favorite part of school? Playing hide and go seek

What is your favorite movie? Aladdin

What is your favorite food? Macaroni

What is your favorite color? Blue and green

Random facts:

Max is currently cutting and writing with his left hand

He called his teacher Mrs Beautiful for the first two months of school

Max has to wear certain shoes on certain days because they "are fast"

"It's not ok to pee outside at school" - something I was told today by Max

::quinn::

Dear Quinn,

Thanks buddy.  Thanks for being such a great little guy.  I hardly ever hear you cry.  Being a fourth baby suits you well.  You dig all the holding and snuggling and getting fought over who gets to hold you next.  Your eat like a horse and then promptly throw up about half of it.  If you were not gaining weight so well I would be very concerned about your puke fest 2012, but you have grown a fabulous little Buddha belly.  You go back and forth from bottle to breast with no issues.  Your Dad has already started sneaking you licks of fruit to try to win you over.  I pretend not to see.  You talk up a storm and already copy the sounds we make to you.  We like your Wookie sounds best of all.  You smile all the time and even venture into some decent giggles  You sleep like a champion.  By 8:30pm you are getting grumpy and ready to be laid down.  We just dress you in a sleep sack and put you to bed.  Long bedtime rituals are not the norm around here and you have falling into that philosophy.  You sleep till about 7-8am with out a fuss.  I usually have to wake you up in the morning to eat.  Which is one of my favorite things because your stretching is so cute.  I love you meatball, we all do.  Your the best little rainbow baby ever.

Love,

Mommy

::quads turn two::

  

I am back in the saddle again!

I was so excited that my first shoot back in the groove got to be of some repeat clients.

It's so fun to watch them growing up.

The location was stunning, the light was perfect, and the little ones were a blast.

Whose next?

::what I didn't know::

~Zack - a name we picked on the way to hospital to deliver a baby we knew was already dead.  We spelled it like that because we where leaning toward naming him Jack and he loved Zofran (antinausea med).  If he had been a girl his name was Zoey because it was the only name I could think of that started with a Z. ~

What I didn't know then:

Depression is a terrible thing.  I had never had more than a downer day in my life till Zack died.  I didn't know or respect what real depression felt like.  I didn't sink into a total black hole, but I tipped my feet over the edge.  I hated it, but it felt out of my control.

I wish that I had gotten professional help the day after I went home.  I wish I had emerged myself into intensive therapy.  I don't think it would have taken me a year to get back on track if I had.  I kept seeing small improvements so I thought I didn't need help.  I was so stuck in the muck mentally that I couldn't do any more than get up every day and make it through.  I think a therapist would have helped me define healing goals and helped me make better progress.

People morn differently.  I felt the loss of Zack very intensely.  He was a real person to me.  He had a spirit and I craved him.  Josh hadn't really thought about it all that much yet.  He got over the loss very quickly.  And he missed me while I wallowed in my grief.

Great loss brought me great personal growth.  I mentally aged five years, and I had that room to grow.  I like the person that I have become.  I wish it hadn't taken an earthquake to get me on track, but it usually does.  

At this point in my life I am not weighed down by the grief anymore.  I honestly don't think about it every day any more.  It comes up at odd moments but my sadness related to my loss is under control.  I feel relief to be past the worst part of it.  

::garden plan 2012::

garden plan 2011

 This is the copy of last years garden plan.  Having a plan is a little bit of a joke because I always seem to change it once I am actually standing in the garden.  The tomatoes ended up along the side and in front I had butternut squash and bush watermelons.  I made a few mistakes with some of this.  I planted the soy beans too early do the seeds rotted and hardly grew.  I planted all my spinach and lettuce at one time so ended up with WAY more than I could eat and then none left when I wanted some.  I needed tons more broccoli because that stuff fresh is pure heaven.  My eggplant never grew at all - I have no idea why.  The kids needed about 600 times more peas to snack on.  Here are some pictures of the how the garden turned out looking last year.  

June

August

Now for this years plan. I love having Zinnia's in the front, so even though I try to rotate things, those have to stay.  They are not on the new plan but they are already planted in real life.  I also moved the bean frame out this year.  I love it, but I like to change things up.  I'm going to try beans on the horse fence this year.  (Horses go to grandpa's house for the summer and fall.)  I put a row of sunflowers between to horse fence and the garden fence.  We will see how that pans out.  I left myself a "misc" space so I can throw in whatever little plant wants to come home with me from the nursery.  I am going to plant one small patch of spinach and lettuce around other plants through out the year so I can get those guys all year long.   

garden plan 2012

May 2012