::it's not a tumor - well it actually was - but it's not a bad tumor::

Josh was majorly freaked out 

Sweet shit friends.  I have been on a major roller coaster these last few weeks.  If you have been following along you know I have lost 50 pounds in last year.  Mama is looking hot.  The bad part is that I also lost an entire cup size.  I needed new bras and I have been slowly stocking up.  I was driving home on October 26th and my new bra was driving me crazy.  I reached into my shirt to shift things around and felt a lump that I knew was new and I knew wasn't right.  It had the exact feel of a lump that I would refer to a breast doctor if I felt it in the office.  Of course I made my sister/GYN check it the next day and she agreed that it needed a consult ASAP.  

I happen to be friends with the breast surgeon down the hall from my office and he double booked me to get me on on Halloween.  I had a biopsy done that was on the vague side - in typical radiology fashion it could be nothing or it could be a phyllodes tumor.  Phyllodes tumors are fast growing rare breast tumors that grow HUGE and have to be removed.  They are usually not cancerous but they can be.  

My doctors advice was that we needed to get that puppy out to make sure what it is and to get it out if it was a phyllodes tumor.  Thank the lord I work in an office where my managers said - what ever you need when ever you need it.  I had to cancel some patients, which I feel terrible about, but I was scheduled on November 13th to get it out.  

The process was terrible.  I had to explain it to Lily, who had a nuclear level nervous break down.  The boys got only the slightest information and were all set.  Emma was calm but worried.  Josh was the biggest mess of the entire crew.  It was a rough 10 days or so waiting for the surgery.  I hate suspense.  HATE IT.  I had many little break downs and attitudes.  I would trot along fine and then just hit these dead stops of nerves and tension.  

The surgery itself was fine.  They took good care of me.  The surgeon is a top notch guy and I trust him.  Recovery was a little mess.  I felt fine at first but the pain and swelling was more than I anticipated.  My entire breast was bruised and beat up.  My nipple was dark purple.  I looked like I got stuck in a very nasty purple nurple situation.  My swelling was terrible.  I couldn't wear a bra and I was embarrassed to go out because I felt like I was back in junior high with tiny boobs again.  I've gotten pretty used to my push up action from some higher end bras.  

Pathology was supposed to be back Friday and by today (Monday) I was freaking out more and more.  I kept feeling like they didn't call because it was taking extra time because it was so complex.  My friend/nurse that runs me, Kathy calmed me down today before I about lost it for real.  Finally, my friend the breast surgeon called me around 345pm and I happened to be sitting next to my phone and got to take the call.  He said that it was a low grade Phyllodes tumor.  He felt the margins where good and that we should be all set.  It's cured if it is out.  It will grow back if every cell of it isn't out, but that wouldn't be the worst possible situation.  I hope it doesn't grow back, but at least now we know what it is.      

So - now I am going to go have a few celebration beers and rejoice in my luck with some hot dude I've been seducing for the past 18 years!  I love that ending to this story.  

Best "Your mom" comment ever.
Promise I had already told her the good news.