Not so very long ago Josh got a new job. He went from being an airline mechanic with grease under his nails to a button up shirt wearer. This was a huge change for us on many levels. One - we both had this secret odd unspoken pride in the fact that he had a "real job". Defined by us as a job that was not done in a cube, a job that was not done looking at a computer, a job that required real skill and hands on problem solving. We seriously never talked about this out loud once in the entire time we have been together, but it was one of the facts that just made him different to me. He doesn't wear suits, he wear kick ass vintage looking Adidas shoes to weddings with untucked shirts, he has a mohawk, he is fit, he has a big tattoo, he actually likes his wife and kids = he is different from most men. Wow - that is a great deal of admitted arrogance. Bratty Brooke is still living strong in me I guess. I know its obnoxious but I have always felt this silly amount of pride in how VERY different he is. Mostly different from my Dad if you really want to get into the Freud of it all.
Back to the new job. He got an offer to move up to the position of Aviation Engineer. An office job. In a cube. Like "Office Space" in my mind and his. But the new gig offered benefits and money beyond his old situation, and it meant that instead of climbing into fuel tanks and ripping apart his body every day be would be in less need of knee replacement on a daily basis. He agonized over taking the job. Lucky for me he is not a man that like change (probably why he hasn't traded me in for a younger upgrade), but it made taking this new job a trauma for him. He dug down and found the guts and here he is still with a mohawk but now in an attractive button down - no tie.
I'm in the same situation. My hubby had his own business for EVER...But with the economy downturn and new government regulations put in place, Monthly, we had to do something else. So Hubby got a job with the Gas well services. Big change for us because he was no longer in control of his time and he also has to switch his schedule Two weeks days two weeks nights. I'm fortunate that I'm home all the time but you are right when he works nights I am the single mom and it sucks. We have four kiddos and the 16yr old has some issues(bi-polar) I did the same thing staying up too late and watching mindless tv. First, I made it fun for the kids. When Dad works nights we have the most interesting dinners that I couldn't make if he were home. He's a meat and potato man, we'll have taco salad for dinner or breakfast or Fend For which is what ever left over they find and they fend for themselves. To help keep me calm I started to organize things, meal plan, read. Then I realized this was really good ME time. So I started working on projects that I normally put aside cause Hubby's home. I know I have to get to sleep by 11:30 in order to function at 5:30am. So I double check or triple check all the doors(we live rural) and go to bed with a book. sometimes my 7yr old is afraid I'm lonely and he sleeps in Dad's spot until Dad get's home. Then Daddy moves him. Luckily they all go to school in the morning and I turn the ringer off so he doesn't get disturbed. We get a whole hour together between waking and going back to work. We try and keep the attitude that this is temporary and we will roll with it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's when you can write your blog and make lists.
ReplyDeleteI like to watch girl shows, because it's the only time I get to run the remote. And I like to read.
I feel your pain. My husband leaves for work at 730am and gets home around 10pm most days. He does this five to six days a week. He has to work every saturday and his "weekend off" is every third sunday/monday. He is making about $15,000 less than he was 2 years ago and working about 15 hours more a week. I don't care about the money. We have cut waaay back and are doing fine. I just HATE that he is always gone. I feel like he misses everything. And when he is home, his phone rings constantly. The people he manages can't seem to do anything without him, and his boss can't just let him have a day off. It majorly sucks.
ReplyDelete