::week 10::

Dear Cheeto,

We had our ultrasound last week.  I walked in the door with panic in my heart.  I picked a fight with the receptionist. For no good reason.  I just felt like it.  Hateful.  Then I had to lay down on the very same ultrasound table were I saw Zack floating perfectly still, and I couldn't do it.  I couldn't lay down.  I just could not lay in that exact position, looking at that exact screen.  I had to just cry my eyes out.  Way too much drama.  I just can't take it again.  But then I finally got calmed down, and there you were.  And I heard your heat beat and I just felt like you might be real.  

This week I send in your first trimester screen blood work.  It's a new test that is just a finger stick at home that I mail in.  Then we go for our first trimester screening ultrasound in early August.  

Then I am super excited about our 18 week ultrasound.  Because of Zack we are getting some high risk treatment, which means a high risk ultrasound at 18 weeks instead on 20 weeks.  We are not going to find out if you are a boy or girl.  We are going to have the tech write it on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope.  Then I have it all lined up with a baker that we will take it to her and she will bake us a cake that is pink or blue on the inside.  That night we will have our family over for dinner and then Lily will cut the cake.  Showing everyone at the same time.  We never did any of this cheesy stuff before, but we are this time.  

Love,

Mommy