::a big man::

Max -

This is something I want you to know when you are someday a grown man.  

You saved me.  

From the second I came home after your brother died you are the only one who always gave me exactly what I needed every day.  You didn't give a rats ass that I wanted to curl up in a ball and not get out of bed.  You are the only one who could treat me normally, because you really didn't care.  You just wanted your Mommy, and you over looked that I was broken.  You let me fake it for as long as I needed to.  You warmed my heart when it was frozen.  You patted me when I cried and still wanted your lunch.  You demanded me to be present - and it helped me so much.   There was a time period when I couldn't be away from you.  I literally felt panic to leave the house with out you.  You were my normal in a world on uncertainty.  You were the only one who had no pity for me, or wasn't carrying your own heartbreak.  No three year old should have to carry their own mother around, but when I was at my lowest you did just that.

It's so nice to be back in my own head.  It's wonderful to be so in love with you and be back to being myself.  What fun we will have now.   

I adore you -

Mommy

...and that curly hair - I am so crazy about that hair