I don't remember many dates.
I have no idea what date I got engaged on.
I only remember the day I met Josh because it was his birthday.
I made him show me his ID to prove it.
But...
Today was supposed to be my 20 week ultrasound for nugget.
And that makes me so so so so so sad.
This should have been such a joyous day.
It still was.
Lily was home from school. She, Max, and I had a great day.
We cleaned Lily's room and rearranged all the furniture.
Talk about a good distraction.
We played games and read books.
All four of us laid in bed tonight and read one of my favorite books
"Leonardo the Terrible Monster"
Josh flattered me, "These kids are so happy and dinner was amazing"
But I couldn't sleep.
And here I am.
Blogging the part of me that is broken,
again.
Somehow, someday, your heart will heal. You will never forget nugget. And you will never replace nugget. Nugget will just become part of your heart. What you are doing is healthy. Keep working through it. Take care of your family. And take care of yourself. Hugs.
ReplyDeletei'm sorry, brookling. love your heart, even when it hurts.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Brooke. I m here for ya!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could take your pain. I wish I could bear it for you. Truely.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a wonderful mother. I would take half of what you have, just half because that is how incredible you are. I know your heart hurts and I wish I could take even part of that pain away but I know I can't and sometimes I'm sure I'm going to make it harder, but I want you to know I love you. I love your strength, your dedication to your family, the way you parent and love your children, and I love your face (of course!) You will be blessed with another baby. A whole baby that will fill your heart and nugget will NEVER be forgotten because that is just who you are. I hate this for you but I long for the next months to celebrate joy with you every single day. I love you Brookie
ReplyDelete